The Joy of Organizing

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I have been an organizing fool! But, it feels so great!
I had to clean and organize my office at work due to an unexpected move. I have been putting off doing any filing or organizing in search of something better to do, but the move forced my hand. I used the same methods I do at home and was able to throw out some unneeded paperwork and get the rest put away in its rightful home. I still have some filing left to complete which I’ll knock out on Monday.
My home is getting more and more organized. Last weekend, I was able to get under the bed, my bedside table and my secretary cleaned and organized. It’s amazing what you find sometimes! I found a couple of empty journals and a few that were started as well as lots of outdated trash. Everything found a home and looks clean, for now. I’m trying to decide what’s next as it’s supposed to be rainy and cool this weekend.
You may be wondering why I’m going on such a crazed organizational trip. It’s because I’m tired of looking at the same messes, the same piles and the same stuff that has lost its meaning. I’m on a quest to get rid of all the things that have lost value or meaning and create a simpler, cleaner home for myself and family. As I’ve said before, I am certainly no hoarder, but I don’t want to get to that point either.
I’m trying to get a lot of this finished, too, because I want to have a garage sale and get rid of it. There’s nothing like making a little money on your junk. But, every time I take a load to one of the donation centers, it feels like a weight has been taken off my shoulders.
Have you ever gone through a massive cleaning and organization project? How did it feel? What did you accomplish? Please share.

A Skin Fix for Your Raisin Face

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Today’s post is the first in a series of posts on beauty products I love.  It’s called Skin Fix by Raisin Face.  I have been using this product for a couple of months and I love it!  It is a great natural product that contains no parabens, dyes or scents and it feels really good on your skin.

Skin Fix is especially good for people who have Raisin Faces, but I’ll be honest, I didn’t have one when I started using it.  I live in Colorado where the climate is really dry.  This product is keeps my face well hydrated and smooths out the fine lines and wrinkles that come with getting older.  I recently turned my mother-in-law on to it, who is a true raisin face.  She’s been using it for a week and really likes it as well.

As I said, it’s made with more natural ingredients such as aloe vera juice, emu oil, green tea extract and coconut oil, just to name a few.  It’s filled with plenty of antioxidants and vitamins and other ingredients to help fight acne, fade age spots, even skin tone and plump and smooth the skin.  It is so emollient that just a little bit goes a long way.  It works great around your eyes, too, so you don’t need a separate eye cream!

Raisin Face is a small, woman owned company who focuses on purchasing quality ingredients instead of mass advertising her product.  You can try a sample size jar for only $5 while the larger jar is still only $20.  Check it out yourself.  You can find it over at http://www.raisinface.com

Try it and let us know what you think!

A New Better Well Being in the Works

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Welcome back!  If you’ve tried to get on the site in the last week, you would have received an error.  I’ve recently moved hosting providers and thought that all the content I’ve written in the last 2 years was gone.  That was until a few minutes ago.  Fortunately, I exported my site to a flash drive last Friday and found out that I could import it again.  That means I don’t have to completely start from scratch.

But, along with the change in picture, you are going to see a few more changes to the Better Well Being site.  I am going to focus on a fewer topics and there are several things I have to do behind the scenes to get it back up and running again.  I hope you’ll come back to see the changes.

Keeping Your Goals without the Support

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As stated on Friday’s post, we’re continuing our conversation of goal setting.  Today’s post is going to address how you keep a goal if no one you know will truly support it or over-provides you with information on how to achieve it.

We’ve all got someone in our lives that we don’t like to share things we’re excited about for fear that we’ll walk away totally scrapping the idea.  It could be your best friend or a family member.  It’s the person who tells you that you won’t make any money doing that or you really need to stay in a real job or I don’t think you can do it.  They’re not saying it to motivate you to action.  They’re saying it because they don’t have any faith in themselves so why should you have any faith in yourself.

There’s also the person who will provide you with more information on how to achieve your goal or how not to achieve it because they know someone or they’ve done it themselves.  They jam your head with so much information that you walk away spinning and wondering if you should just give up.

So, what’s a person to do?  More than likely, you already know who these people are in your life.  Occasionally, you’ll be surprised by someone and, unfortunately, you can’t stop that from happening.  You can lessen the impact any of these people have on you achieving your goals.  Hopefully, you’ve also pinpointed the people who are the most supportive in your life.  Those are the ones you share your dreams and goals with.

To achieve your goals and dreams, you need to:

  • Stop sharing them with those who are least supportive.  As you achieve your goals, share them if you feel comfortable so that they can celebrate your success.
  • Find people who can be supportive of you.  This may be a group or another person who is trying to achieve a similar goal.  This way the two of you can be each other’s cheerleader and have someone to be responsible to.
  • Nip the “advice” in the bud.  If someone starts to share their story in how to help you or how your dream isn’t going to work, stop them.  If they are truly an expert, ask pointed questions that way you get their expertise that is most pertinent to you.  Otherwise, thank them for their concern, but state that you’d like to really try this on your own and you will come to them when you need a little extra guidance.
  • Be your biggest fan.  Use affirmations, celebrate your accomplishments no matter how small, use words of encouragement when you get down, write it out, whatever it is that can help you make the steps you need to take in order to achieve your goals.

Have you ever had anyone try to shoot down your dream?  What did you do?

A Life with No Goals

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Today, I’ve read 2 separate blog posts about goal setting and it’s causing me to think, which is what you want a blog post to do. The first one I read asked the question, “How do you keep a goal if no one you know will truly support it or over-provides you with information on how to achieve it?” The second post was about not setting goals. Both different topics, I agree, but I’d like to discuss them anyway. We’ll start with the second post today and talk about the 1st one on Monday.
The writer of today’s post on not setting goals stated that he used to set goals, but has gone away from that practice and feels liberated. He, like many, created goals along with sub-goals, all of which we have talked about here, and either felt stressed out to accomplish them and/or never fully accomplished them. I have tried, on weekends or days off, to wonder about my days without a set of things to accomplish and agree it does feel freer. Yet, I find that I’m more focused if I have a list of items I want to get done during the day.
But, where am I with my annual goals and their accomplishment. Prior to focusing on just one per month and giving it more of my attention than the other goals, I find I’m feeling more satisfied that I’ve completed them maybe not 100%, but I can take some of it and carry it on throughout the year. It’s given me a good basis to create a habit and build on it.
I have only recently started creating goals, within the past 3 years or so, after having read Success for Dummies by Zig Ziglar. I didn’t want to be another “wondering generality” as Zig so eloquently put it. Also, I can’t help but wonder what my life would be like today if I had set goals for myself when I was younger. Would I be more successful, in a different career, more confident in my abilities? I can only begin to imagine.
So, what do you think about writing goals? Do you do it? Why or why not? Please share your thoughts.

When the Spring Cleaning Bug Bites

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Spring has sprung, my allergies are in full bloom along with the trees and I battle the urge to clean my house and be outside gardening. Of course, my spring didn’t start out exactly as it has in the past. I spent 3 weekends in a row out of town for one reason or another, which really wasn’t all bad other than it put me behind.

I have spent the last 2 Sundays cleaning the family clothes closets and taking 3 ½ large, black garbage bags in for donations. As I drove home after dropping them off yesterday afternoon, I felt lighter and was pleased with how good it felt to get rid of so much. The closets look so much better, as well. There’s actually room to put summer clothes in. But, I’m already starting the next donation bag as I tried on and immediately took off a pair of pants this morning that just didn’t look right any more.

I made sure to follow my own advice when going through the closets. I had black bags for donations, white bags for garbage and a box for my garage sell later this summer. I also filled 2 white bags with garbage and had a box slightly overflowing with kids’ clothes to sell. It still feels good.

This morning, as I thought about what still needs to be done around the house and yard, I started to feel overwhelmed so, I sat down and wrote a list of every area in the house that needs to be cleaned, organized and just plain, dealt with. I also wrote down what still needs planting and cleaning up in the vegetable and flower gardens. It felt good to see it all laid out on paper and I’ll feel a sense of accomplishment as I begin checking things off my list.

I’m still struggling with how to get my girls’ playroom and bedroom to get and stay organized. Does anyone have any tips or ideas on that? Please share what works for you or how you’re dealing with the Spring Cleaning bug.

Appreciate Your Husband Today

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Today is National Husband Appreciation Day. Don’t worry, ladies! There is also a Wife Appreciation Day in September, so we’ll get our turn, but who are we really kidding? Unless your husband is really on top of it, we all know that it will slip by unnoticed. In the meantime, it’s time to show our husbands a little appreciation especially if he’s feeling a little unappreciated these days.

Last week, I got an earful on how unappreciated he had been feeling lately. I knew the feeling, as we all do. It’s easy to take things for granted as we rush through our busy lives. We get in ruts that are hard to break out of. We hold grudges when the other commits some slight against us. We rush through life with blinders on assuming that those dishes in the sink will magically disappear and the laundry will get washed.

A few months ago, I read a book by Dr. Gary Chapman titled The 5 Love Languages. According to Dr. Chapman, we each have a love language that we respond more to and it’s up to the spouse to recognize and speak that language. The 5 love languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. On Dr. Chapman’s website, you can take a quiz to determine your own primary love language so that you can help your spouse best feed it. I, on the other hand, have been spending the last few months trying to figure his out on my own and I think I’ve got it figured out, although I could always be wrong. Anyway, I’ve started consciously saying “Thank you,” especially when I can remember to do it. For example, he put all of the dishes away earlier this week and I said thank you.

What are some other ways you can send a little appreciation your hubby’s way?
• Make his favorite dinner, dessert, drink or take him out to dinner.
• Just for the day, don’t nag him, just let it be.
• Watch his favorite movie or TV show with him. Actively participate, too, instead flipping through a magazine or reading a book while it plays in the background.
• Send him an e-card or get him a real card just to say thanks and show you’re thinking of him.

The idea is to make him feel a little extra special today and show how much you appreciate his support, love and help in your life.

How have you shown appreciation for your husband?

Helping Your Children Deal with Their Anger

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As a parent, you’re privy to the anger and temper tantrums of your child on a daily basis. Sometimes, you’ve received the brunt of their anger. As people in the world, we’ve all seen the child throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store or with their arms crossed and the lip sticking out because some adult told them no. If you’re a parent, you cringe remembering the last time you saw that.

When your child is small enough, you let them experience their anger or remove them from the situation for a little time out or alone time in his or her room, but what do you do when that child is “old enough to know better?” According to professionals, this when you help them find more constructive outlets for their anger, maybe you still remove them from the situation for awhile. But, when the child goes stomping off on their own accord, it’s up to them to come up with ways to settle themselves down.

Below are few suggestions to get you, and them, thinking:

• Count: You’ve been told that when you’re angry, stop and count. That works for your child, too. Only with your child, try to challenge them depending on what they can handle. For an older child, you might have them try counting backwards by 10’s, 5’s or 3’s, while a child who barely knows their numbers might only be able to handle counting from 1 to 10.

• Breathe: I know you’ve heard this one too! It works the same way for your child. In through the nose for 4-5 counts and out through the mouth, exhaling slower than the inhale.

• Repeat Mantras: Your child could repeat mantras such as, “This too will pass,” or “This will not last forever.”

• Have them do an activity they enjoy: This could be reading, playing games, watching a funny movie, snuggling up with Mom or Dad, etc. In order to know this, sit down with your child and create a list of no more than 30 different things they enjoy and make them feel good, then hang this list in places your child will see it such as the refrigerator door, a bulletin board. You may even want to give it to the teacher, grandparents, daycare or anyone he/she spends time with. This list may come in handy even when your child is sad or had a particularly rough day at school.

As the parent, you may need to remind your child to pull from the ideas you both come up with, especially the first couple of times or until it becomes a habit to them. Are there tactics you’ve found especially helpful when your child experiences anger or frustration? Please share those.

How Are The New Year’s Goals?

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How are you doing with your New Year’s Goals? Are you still hanging in there or have they completely dropped off your radar? It’s not too late to pick them back up again! I thought I’d use today’s post to fill you in on where I am with mine.
At the beginning of March, I was feeling so scattered. I felt like I wasn’t getting any part of goals accomplished and was out of balance. I had to sit down with my goals and re-evaluate my timelines and what I was doing.

Since it was the Lenten season, I decided to work on my Spiritual Goals, which worked out great. I had signed up to be part of a book study and really sat down to determine what I did and didn’t want in that aspect of my life. It worked out well and I count that goal as having been accomplished. I will continue to work in that area and carry some of the things I learned forward with me.

Now, we are at the start of April and it has become apparently obvious that my next focus needs to be on my Family Goals. My husband and I both agree that there are areas we need to work on within our marriage and with our children. We spent a great weekend in Aspen talking about the areas we need to focus on and I think this will also be a time for me to help those I love create goals, affirmations and focus in their lives as well as my own. I want to throw myself full force into this goal as well.

Here’s part of what I’m working on to help me create a more respectful, loving home:
• Start monthly dates with my husband, even if it’s a movie or out for a walk or ice cream.
• Turn the TV off at supper time. This did not go over well at first with our oldest child, but she’ll get used to it. We want to use the time to really talk with one another instead of using the TV as a way to escape.
• Journal weekly in my kids’ journals. I write in there what happened during the week, anything cute things they said or did, etc.
• Celebrate my kids’ monthly birthdays. This allows them to have one day a month that is just for them.

• Practice a different style of parenting and, this time, get my husband on board with me. A few years ago, I went through Love and Logic training and it worked well for me, but for some reason, I stopped practicing it and things have gotten a little crazy again.

Those are just a few of the things I’m working on and I realize that I’ll need to continue to work these over the days to come. I’m starting with the idea that it takes 21 days to make a habit so, a month is a good time to put something in motion that will only do good going forward.

So, going back to the beginning, how are you doing on your goals this year? Do you have any suggestions to contribute to a better home life that has worked for you?

When Your Child’s Friend Turns Into A Bully

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March is National Child Abuse Awareness & Prevention Month with the 31st being Love Our Children Day.  Part of that awareness is bullying.  We’ve all been the victim of a bully or been the bully ourselves.  When I was growing up, it didn’t mean we killed ourselves or wished we were dead, but it certainly had the ability to spiral our self-esteem to about rock bottom.  It has taken me many years to improve my self-esteem to something I can be proud of and I still have to work on it every day.

So, what happens when your confident, outgoing child suddenly starts telling you that she hates her life and that she’s stupid and this increases with additional comments of doom and gloom?  You find out what has caused this change and then take action to help her. 

This is what happened to me recently.  My oldest child has always been confident, outgoing, creative and friendly, but also the victim of one bully or another.  In the past, it’s been pretty minor.  She’s been called a baby due to her small size.  She brushes it off by standing up to the bully and telling the teacher.  This time, I found out that the bully is her best friend.

Last week, she and I were working on her homework and I was doing my darndest to remain calm when she started shouting at me about how she was stupid and ugly and nobody would ever like her, among other things that really scared me.  I asked why she thought this of herself and found out that her best friend has been feeding her head with this garbage.

That’s when I sat down with her, held her in my lap and we both cried.  I told her how special and loved she was, not just to me but to other family and friends.  I told her that this girl was not her friend because friends don’t say that kind of thing, but the sad thing is, it’s not up to me to really end that friendship.  So, how do I help her to see how hurtful this is to her?  I can do the following:

  • Help her recognize what a true friend looks like;
  • Help her form “come backs” that will hopefully stop her “friend”;
  • Help her build her self-esteem through books, goal setting, affirmations and the like;
  • Get her professional help to help her build her self-confidence and give her tools I can’t
  • Speak to her teacher and Principal about what’s going on; and
  • If things don’t stop on their own, talk to her parents.

Until then, I love my daughter, support her and make myself available to her any time she needs me.

Have you gone through this?  What’s worked for you?